The Tour du Mont Blanc: introductions.

The tour du Mont Blanc is a mere 170km circuitous loop around the Mont Blanc massif (massif because they’re big) mountain clump, with Mont Blanc taking centre stage in the middle. It traditionally starts in France and passes through Switzerland and Italy before returning back to the start. It’s one of the most popular and populated long distance hikes in the world, and, as such, is something I have, up until now, had zero interest in attempting.

However, we, (remember Snake Legs?) found ourselves invited to a chalet in nearby Morzine for a week of Aperol and activity with friends, and figured if we were in the area, we may as well give it a chuck.

The trail is as popular as it is for a few reasonable reasons: It’s easily accessed by car, plane or train. It’s easily attempted by a very large spectrum of people, due to the level of challenge being on a spectrum anywhere from REALLY HARD to “shall we just take the cable car up this one?”. A large number of variants can add many metres of elevation and many extra days, while a large number of Euros to a local provider will have your bags transported from hut to hut; and both cable car and bus access throughout can help you up any of those annoying mountains. The trail is traditionally completed in anywhere between 7 to 12 days and usually undertaken between April and September. With August being the most popular month.

We’re mostly going to be camping, we plan to complete the tour in 9 days and It’s currently, August. Dammit.

To eliminate the most amount of contact with the hoards and hoards of people as possible, we opted to complete the loop in the less popular clockwise direction as opposed to the HUGELY more popular anticlockwise. What’s the difference ? Well, we read, ‘nothing really’ and that ‘the first guide book was written anticlockwise and everyone just followed suit’, but we soon learned that the climb clockwise out of the traditional start point was a massive bastard, and figured this was more likely the reason for everyone going the other way.

By nature of it being a loop, one can start wherever one likes, but its another €50 to get from the traditional start in France to Switzerland by car and we’ve already dropped around €8,000 getting here from Calais in tolls so a France start it is. We begin in Les Houches, pronounced LesZoooosh, which I think absolutely should be spelled phonetically and therefore, will be.

This trail could be completed with minimal everything: kit, effort, knowledge of how to use a map and planning… However, not only do I love a good plan, it also transpires that the Italians and Swiss refuse wild camping. As such I had to build a route where we could camp as much as possible, but not break the law and possibly incur a whopper of a fine. Mostly we are in campsites or camping outside of willing mountain huts, but for 2 nights in Switzerland we stay in mountain huts (or refuges) and will share dorms, endure snoring, farting and possibly catch any number of illnesses. (I love mountains huts for atmosphere, ambiance and food, but they are absolutely not conducive to a good night’s sleep).

Booking in advance in August is pretty much essential. Food and sleeping in huts is very expensive so carrying our tent and also 2/3 meals a day is a happy compromise with splashing out to eat dinners in huts each evening. Especially as they’re usually between 3 and 5 courses. If you’re loaded you can just buy all your meals all day every day. Including picnic lunches (or lunches in huts) This will be the first trail we’ve gone stoveless on. Naturally I’m terrified, though I am partial to a cold coffee, as long as its not raining. Which it is absolutely forecast to do.

I’m sceptical about how ill enjoy the trail, crowded anything is not my favourite, so crowded hiking, combining my most and least favourite things may well touch some nerves but its not all me now is it?