The AZT: Section 2: Patagonia to Saguaro NP. Creme de la Crap

Patagonia to Mot(h)ell 6

March 22nd: Day 3 continued: Canelo Pass to Patagonia

We hiked into Patagonia, our first town stop, my knees were not in a good way. We arrived at Casa del Sol. Trail angel Mary has set up a hiker and biker friendly spot. She provides showers, laundry, loaner clothes a kitchen, camp spots, coffee, soda, water, repair station, camp shop, bikes to ride to town and popcorn, all for a mere pittance.

There were a surprising amount of hikers bopping about. Coming into town is always a little overwhelming, more so with so many people about. The heavy snow year means a lot of hikers who would have started earlier, have started later, like us. I was feeling pretty antisocial. We swiftly performed the usual chores, and as ever I selected the very best outfit from the loaner clothes on offer.

Snakes performed laundry as she excells at this. I collected the alcohol Suzanne promised to drop for us and begun consuming it, as I excell at that. We pitched our tent then biked in to town for a resupply.

We arrived with minutes to spare before closing time, I was pretty devastated to learn I’d missed the last of the instant mash, some filthy hiker beat me to it We had to settle for some secondary white mush for dinner. I did however, find pickles in a pouch, which I was elated with, until they leaked pickle juice all over my bag. Then I hated them and wished they’d never come into my life.

From here we had to go to the health food store to buy the worlds most expensive and most average tasting bagles. Snakes remarked how all health food stores have the same smell. Health smell.

We four gals and a new guy who goes by, ‘My Best Friend’ met in the Velvet Elvis. They made us the most delectable salad, which is generally all I want to eat during the first few weeks, then it’s pretty much carbs.

We cycled back just before dark and begun sorting our food bags ready for the next section. Mary lit the fire and we chatted until late into the evening (9pm).

March 23rd: Day 4: Patagonia to Tunnel Spring Trailhead

After a night of steam train snoring (for which Mary provides ear plugs), we packed up and as agreed, met our pals in town for Tick Tock’s birthday breakfast.

I found a cat. The cat mewed at the door for a good 5 minutes. The waitress told us he was a stray as she delivered him a small cup of milk and some chicken (his usual) he finished half of it then waddled off. What kind of stray cat doesn’t finish his free breakfast ? The fat kind.

We hiked out of town on the old AZT route to avoid a longer tarmac road walk to get to the new route. It would also be a shortcut (if Snakes wasn’t Snakes she’d be Shortcut), this meant we’d be a step head of the crowd of hikers we’re trying to avoid.

The weather improved from grey windy, winter desert to bright blue skies. Everytbing started to look more appealing and impressive. We hiked dirt road up to Temporal Gulch trailhead, dirt road gave way to single track, we crossed multiple streams and water was clear, flowing and abundant.

Let’s talk more about my knee. It initially felt better for the half day rest yesterday, but the relentless 14.3 mile ascent, some of which was ridiculously steep, continued to exaserbate the issue. The issue, I’m not quite sure what, is severe pain in the centre of my knee. It’s happened before, and usually the cure, is not walking. Tricky.

We had a delicious riverside lunch, 1 mile before the high point of the day. People who don’t carry more than 2 ingredients for their lunch baps are aliens to me.

After the summit, my knees were very angry and swollen. Then came the descent which I grimaced the entire way down. Luckily the trail had improved in its aesthetic and there were nice things to look at.

Our map app was wrong about the camp spot we were aiming for, so we walked almost another 2 painful miles before we found a suitable place to camp.

19.3 miles on the day

March 24th: Day 5: Tunnel Spring Trailhead to Tucson

My knee (I know, I know shut up about your knee) was throbbing all night. I’m dealing with it using a brace, as much vitamin I as I’m allowed and some tiger balm (expensive spicy gloop that likely has little effect), I elevated it over night and by morning, it was hurting like it hadn’t had 11 hours rest. Something must be done or I may come a’cropper.

We packed up and I limped the 3.3 miles to the next trailhead where we had coffee and breakfast. It was cold, and I was moaning a fair amount. Poor Snakes, her two least favourite things.

We were soon joined by Tick Tock, Camel and My Best Friend. We decided to part ways here, MBF and Tick Tock would continue on trail while Camel (also suffering with knee disease) Snakes (not suffering with anything but must come with her poor sickly wife), would walk the dirt road to the highway, in search of a bed and an ice machine.

A single mile into the 5 mile walk to the highway, Snakes had sorted us a lift with a trail angel back to Tucson and Camel had booked us two free nights in the Radison courtesy of her work, thanks Environment Canada.

4 hours after waking by a nameless dirt road and stream somewhere in rural Southern Arizona, we were in a hot tub in Tucson, then watching back to back episodes of the Simpsons from an unwavering horizontal position. Snakes was vertical, she diligently replaced my ice pack, went and bought beer and Combos, did laundry and reset our gear. Shes the best.

BIG KNEE . Thank goodness Americans have an obsession with ice. .

5 miles on the day

March 25th: Day 6. Zero 1

After a troubled night sleep, genuinely deeply concerned for whether on not we’d be able to continue on this trail i was just beginning to enjoy, I woke wondering if we should go to Mexico. I put that plan B to the back of my mind for now.

Breakfast was only served in and on disposable wears and I despaired at the notion that millions of hotel breakfasts were all currently taking place and every one is disposing of a disgusting amount of throw away breakfast crokery, bowls, cups, plates, condiments and the like. I vowed to make my zip locks (of which I carry 3 to store food) last the entire trail. If I make it that far.

Camel and I are still uncertain about the future of our knee diseases. We meggled back in the room for a bit, I’m icing and elevating, stretching and moaning.

We three then had a trip out of the confines of our cell to Walmart. The day was hot and the walk was a mile. A good test of our rehabilitation progress. Here, we purchased arthritis gel, more pills, I got a more serious looking brace and some more beer for Snakes (to numb the pain of my incessant moaning).

Back at the hotel, having purchased some white vinegar we also took the opportunity to soak our filter which we’ve avoided using so far on account of it slowing to a ridiculous trickle. This will either break it, at which point the filter will improve flow, but won’t actually be filtering effectively, or, fix it, which will also improve flow. We won’t be able to tell either way if its actually filtering…. untill we fall ill with a parasitic disease, again. Fingers crossed.

Camel left to post a load of things up the trail, in an attempt to make her pack lighter and therefore help the knee issue. We agreed we’d meet in the hot tub later for more hydrotherapy.

A pal of mine who’s further up the trail is also suffering with knee issues and recommended not walking so far each day. We worked out logistics for the next section as we’re about to enter Saguaro National park, a section I’ve been really looking forward to, but one with two massive ascents, which worries me not, the descent the other side however, does. You need a permit to enter and a permit to camp, but all Camp permits have been reserved by greedy people who book out the entire week not knowing when they’ll arrive. We’ve decided to just show up and see what happens.

We went for an afternoon hot tub, and made friends with some plesant holiday makers who’s idea of fun is a hotel near the airport for the weekend. We went for food as another night of depressingly eating trail food in our room was too much to handle. Jurassic World was on when we got back, Snakes’ favourite.

March 26th: Day 7: Back on the trail.

We met for throw away breakfast with Camel at 6am, and booked an Uber to take us back to trail for 7am. Frank’s tiny matchbox car drove us at great speeds the 20 minutes to the trailhead, not even breaking for huge potholes in the road.

We met Tick Tock and MBF at the trailhead and were hiking by 8am. I have a brace on each leg and am fully dosed up with creams and pills. Easy trail lead us to Colossal Cave. This should have been a monumental moment where we would get to gorge on snacks and colossal pretzels. Given that we’d just hiked a mere 6.5 miles after a day and a half of being horizontal, it wasn’t the feeling of elevation we’d hoped for, we didn’t deserve any of that good stuff.

We picked up the box we’d mailed ourselves and sorted our food bags, now depressingly heavy. Most hikers had a lot of food they wanted to get rid of having sent too much to themselves, which left the communal hiker box stacked full for anyone in need of gammy trail mix bags, sticky rehydration salts or half full gas canisters.

We polished off Tick Tock and Camel’s tater tots and departed. We’re now in Saguaro land and it is magical. Towering cactus of all different personalities surround us. Some are real characters.

It was 7.5 miles to the park boundary (after which we’d need a permit to camp) so there were a lot of hikers heading there. We took it slow as it was only 11am. We took multiple breaks to rest the ageing knees and the gals caught up to us.

2 blisters have formed on my toes and my knee is pretty sore. I’m now walking on it weirdly to try and avoid the pain which in turn is probabaly doing more damage to something else.

Before long we arrive at a creek which we all happily crossed in our shoes to cool off. Today was hot and exposed. Just after the creek a small village of tents appeared where a mass of hikers had stopped for the day just before the Saguaro National Park boundary.

We found a spot for all our tents and pitched up before a nice long stretch and a sit down in the evening sun. Snakes and I walked a little way up the trail to get signal and bought our permits for the next 2 days hike in Saguaro National Park, $15 each.

We sat and ate together enjoying a rare warm early evening in camp. Tomorrow is a 1800m climb, a challenge I’d usually relish, but, I’m feeling trepidation…. sleep at 6.30.

March 27th Day 8: Mt. Mica. Or not.

My knee was throbbing in the night, from a very gentle, highly supported relatively flat walk. If I comitted to Mica, a huge climb awaited and, more worryingly a steep decsent, another big climb followed that. It’s cold and there is a section of 3 miles of snow to contend with. None of this seemed like a sensible idea in my ‘condition’.

This was a devastating blow to us both. We’d already had a shitty first day, we’d already come off trail to nurse my swollen pins, and now, we’d have to hike back to Tucson for a third time. We said goodbye to our pals who were ready to leave by 6am. This was pretty horrible.

Walking the side trail out of the park (the park wed paid $30 to hike in the night before) only served to remind me that while it was a very upsetting decision, it was the right one. I was not in a good way.

We stopped for breakfast to have a last look at the Saguaro forest, and get our permits worth of viewing. Soon we popped out on a dirt road, from here we paused to search (online) for the nearest acupuncturist. Which, historically proved to be excellent knee treatment.

Dr Fang, (excellent name) happened to have a free slot in 20 minutes. I quickly called for an uber, with the grandpa speeds the driver drove at, and the ridiculous amount of wandering around it took to us tind her, we were pretty late and she’d gone home. I called her, and just as she was about to suggest ‘possibly’ being able to squeeze me in to her afternoon appointments (it was currently 10.30am) I whined at her in my most desperate and pathetic sounding voice in an attempt to convince her to come back and stick all the needles she had in me. Which she did.

One hour later I was very relaxed, smelling of spice and $100 poorer. We sat in the sun outside and emotionally deliberated over what to do next. Everything is so damn far from everything. After too much time spent addressing every option going, we settled on the cheap but horrific option of Motel 6 on the freeway. Turns out, any other choice would have been better.

The only redeeming feature was the ridiculously nice and helpful chap at the diner next door which, had an all day buffet which certainly looked like it had been sat there all day (every day).

I iced my knee for some time, I should have iced it all day, but we needed supplies and I absolutely wasn’t about to let Snakes loose on the perfectly safe streets of Tucson alone. We bought salad supplies to stave off feeling gluttonous seeing as we’re not hiking enough to warrant eating whatever we want and it not mattering (the main reason I’m here).

We decided to take 5 days off to let my knees recover. We hired a car and made a plan to get out of town for a few days. If that works we can get back on trail, if it doesn’t… Mexico?

The ceiling is peeling, there’s what looks like a blood stain on the wall and there is a half inch gap around the door to the outside world, but, Family Guy is on TV.